Reciprocal Report: Miami Surf Club

A consolation prize for a life well lived

This article was written by Joseph Swartz.

Not all stories have happy endings. That would prove to be true for both the Miami Surf Club and the special person who accompanied me during my visit in 2010.

My first visit to the Miami Surf Club was Memorial Day weekend in 2010, roughly two years before it ultimately became the Four Seasons Hotel at the Surf Club. It was only a year since I had joined the Army and Navy Club and I was excited to explore as many reciprocal clubs as possible.

Soon after approaching the Club’s entrance in my rented Kia, as a poor lieutenant and country bumpkin, I became apprehensive. What had I gotten myself into?

“Is there a self-park option,” I asked the valet, bracing myself for my precious little money being drained by valet fees over the course of the weekend.

“Don’t worry,” the valet responded. “Parking is complimentary.” Soon, my rented Kia was conspicuously parked in a sea of luxury vehicles.

After all, my visit to Florida wasn’t purely leisure. It was to explore the possibility of building something with more depth with an old friend and fling, Marvin.

Marvin and I first met in the (time of year) of 2008 on a gay dating site. We intended nothing more than a fling, but ultimately found ourselves comfortable with one another and spent as much time together as possible over the next year. After all, I was living with then-retired LTC Henry Thomas IV, who would later introduce me to Clubland via membership at the Army and Navy Club.

Marvin had an unwavering commitment to the American Dream despite numerous challenges, including paying enormous amounts of money to smugglers and sexual assault to arrive in the country.

After meeting in 2008, life had taken us in different directions. Mine would be through various U.S. Army training locations and assignments, amidst the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell era. His took him to Miami to be closer to his sister where we remained in touch through back-and-forth phone calls.

We were pragmatic. My military career was just beginning and I could be forced to move at the drop of a hat. Neither of us were truly prepared for a long-distance relationship, but he broached the subject during one of our late night calls.