The Dispatch Issue
Starting with an inside look at DC’s most talked about new club, Executive Branch
Today marks the nine-month anniversary of Clubland USA, a venture that the co-writers of this publication were unsure would even last nine weeks. It turns out that much like that couple at the Club who you’ve seen quarrel one too many times, we have some serious staying power.
Without you, the Clubland USA reader, we would not be able to reach this milestone. Your phone calls, emails, and text messages to us ensure that we’re on the right track with what we’re building here.
One of the most consistent points of feedback that we receive is an undying love for Dispatches from Clubland, or as we affectionately call it, Club Table Gossip Fodder. This esteemed fodder has shared how bartenders at the National Press Club use Sunny D for tequila sunrises, that “white old duffers” are running amok at Tallahasse’s Capital City Country Club and that someone at a certain Manhattan club has an affinity for Tiffany-branded toys of the NSFW variety. Your fellow club cats at the Club Table are buying your more drinks than you can even handle these days to hear these stories.
That’s why we’re moving Dispatches from Clubland from the bottom of the newsletter to an entire issue — twice per month!
This week, we start off with an inside look at Executive Branch, a new entry to DC Clubland for the MAGA, MAHA and anything that starts with MA- crowd in Washington — available first to Clubland USA paid subscribers.
Executive Branch: Where Lobster Towers Meet MAGA Chic '
We all were thinking the same thing: “Come on, Don Jr.”
If you’re ever invited to Executive Branch, affectionately called “Exec Branch” by members (of my group chat), be sure to obtain the correct address. There’s nearly a dozen addresses for the club on Google resulting in my being kicked out of an Uber because of how many times I changed the location.
DC-ers will understand this reference, but my poor Azberjani driver was driving up and down Wisconsin Avenue in search of this club like a Georgetown girlie in search of the new Tuckernuck location
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The Purge 6: SoHo House
After SoHo House recently went private in a $2.7 billion deal, the club conglomerate began its purge of undesirables, as reported by Page Six. Locations across the country, from Hollywood to New York City, found the quality of members lacking, and the newly-invigorated firm decided to bid adieu to members that “no longer mirror the club’s creative profile”.
SoHo House’s original London location made headlines because of the glamour-heavy, creative jet-setting crowd that came to dominate its bars and hallways and rooms, and hopefully taking away public quarterly filings will help make the chain of establishments less like a Chipotle and more like an actual club.
Comment te dire Adieu: The Metropolitan Club, Covington, KY
It hurts to say goodbye. It really does. The Metropolitan Club in Covington, KY, conveniently located steps away from the Kentucky-Ohio border in the Greater Cincinnati area, permanently closed doors to members and guests after three and a half decades of faithful service. An email to members bemoaned the club’s declining financial situation, shifting cost structures, and changing business and work habits.