How ought one to determine if they are thriving or merely just surviving?
This week, in the case of American Clubland, Ishaan Jajodia makes the case for why the media has gotten it so wrong about private clubs, and how our little world is indeed thriving in the 2020s.
In this issue, Ishaan also provides you with some advice on why it is best to keep your tongue in your own mouth while in your home-away-from home.
Leonard Robinson bemoans the worst season of all: board election season.
I’m responsible for bringing you news from the front in this week’s Dispatches from Clubland.
If you haven’t done so before, make this the week you share Clubland USA, brought to subscribers by Double Dot Squash, with a friend—they’ll thank you for it, I promise. If they ask, tell them they can subscribe here, or by using your unique referral link below.—BK
Members Only
Clubs are Alive and Well | Ishaan Jajodia
Ask Yourself This Before Club Elections | Leonard Robinson
From Cloud Nine to Clubland | Joseph Swartz
Clubland and Your Tax Bill | Leonard Robinson
The Soul of Smoke | Benjamin Kahn
PDA in Clubland? When in doubt, just don’t.
Showing public affection can be a challenging call for every club, but especially couples who find themselves inside the Club.
Clubs, by and large, can be rather frosty to public displays of affection. Preppies are well known for their park-bench and party-corner make-outs, but club rats tend to do that sort of stuff outside the clubhouse. Or, if they must, rather discreetly.
You never want to be the couple that everyone walks past thinking, “They should really approach the front desk and get a freaking room.”
It is certainly a reputation that will stick: if you can’t keep your tongue in your mouth, you’re not a trustworthy person. The lack of personal restraint in one’s intimate matters might lead to suspicions of wandering eyes and a wagging tongue that will haunt your days in Clubland.
While your club is your home away from home, your living room, and every other imaginable cliche possible, it is still not your home. Don’t make yourself too comfortable. Think of it as akin to throwing a party where your drawing room is full of not-so-close acquaintances, and that level of formality and displays of affection are par for the course.
The long and short of it is, keep it PG. If you won’t see it in a Disney movie from midcentury, you probably shouldn’t be doing it at your club.
Generally okay: holding hands; hugging when meeting; a quick peck on the stairwell or elevator or lobby, or at a club event.
Not okay: making out, cuddling, or frankly, anything beyond that (conference rooms, multi-gender bathrooms, and phone booths excepted after sundown).
When in doubt—don’t do it. If you find yourself thinking about it, you probably shouldn’t be doing it in public. - IJ
Dispatches from Clubland
Ethics and Integrity. An anonymous source has informed Clubland that 54th Governor of New York and former “Sheriff of Wall Street” Eliot Spitzer was declined membership at the Harvard Club after coming down with a terrible affliction; experts refer to the condition as Companiona compulsiva—an apparently terminal condition where one can’t bring themselves to show up in public without professional floozies in tow. A decidedly tragic condition if your goal is to thrive in Clubland.
Resisting Pier Pressure. One of Maryland’s two historic black yacht clubs has been saved thanks to an amendment to the state budget requiring the Tradepoint Atlantic dredging project be adjusted to preserve the club. Thanks to Baltimore County Senators Charles Sydnor and Carl Jackson, Pleasant Yacht Club members will be able to enjoy their club for many years to come.
Moving on up! Congratulations to the National Club Association’s incoming board of directors, and Chairman Michael McCarthy on his new appointment. We here at Clubland USA wish them all well as they embark on this new chapter of club life!