Joining Your First Club
Clubs aren’t fraternities. They’re better.
Within weeks, someone dear to you will be marching across the stage to Elgar’s Pomp and Circumstance. This will come after the inevitable commencement speaker who wants to impart wisdom on these young minds whose sole interest is in reliving their love-hate relationship with their new alma mater.
At Clubland USA, we’re a tad more practical. Commencement marks the beginning of your adult life, perhaps even in a different city or apart from the club you grew up at.
Thus you are confronted with a real challenge: where, now, from here?
This is Clubland USA’s comprehensive guide to life after commencement, from what clubs to join to how to conduct yourself to what to wear. We’ve got it all covered.
And if you still don’t feel satiated—write to us for more advice!
The Types of Clubs
There are four basic types of clubs—city clubs, athletic clubs, country clubs, and yacht clubs—that have been covered in-depth in Tour de Clubland.
Your geographical location post-graduation will determine which kind of clubs you can join: country clubs tend to be in suburbs and rural areas; yacht clubs by the water, whether inland or on the shoreline; city clubs in cities big and small; athletic clubs pretty much anywhere.
Your first stop will most likely be your alma mater’s club. Manhattan, for instance, boasts clubhouses for Harvard, Yale, the University of Pennsylvania, and Cornell. Each of those clubs, however, with the exception of Harvard, has other university clubs in residence. University of Virginia and Dartmouth, my alma mater, are in residence at the Yale Club of New York while Columbia is in residence at the Penn Club. Dues are generally on the lower side with many university clubs waiving initiation and athletic fees for new graduates.
University-affiliated clubs are a great way to continue active involvement with your alma mater and an accessible entry to Clubland.
If your alma mater didn’t pave your entry into Clubland, or if you’re not interested in joining your university’s club, you’re not out of luck. But a harder part arrives: identifying which clubs you’re going to join, and finding friends willing to propose, second, and write letters for you.
Many clubs, however, will willingly introduce you to members if you express interest in joining, so fret not.
Club Ettiquette
We’ve written extensively about what to do, and what not to do. Remember: your club’s not your fraternity, and bro-ing and brah-ing isn’t tolerated. But that doesn’t mean you can’t have fun!
Here’s a handy roundup, if you’re ever in doubt, though we trust you know what to do.
What not to do:
Take phone calls in public: keep phone use in the clubhouse to a minimum, and don’t follow in Lyndon Johnson’s stead.
Wear athletic clothes in non-athletic settings: learn to dress appropriately from fashion designer Lindsay Nicholas and yours truly.
Don coloured clothes to tennis and squash: (tennis) whites only.
Try to “network”: clubs are for connectors, not networkers, as Leonard says.
Talk about money: it’s gauche, inconsiderate, and you’ll be forever branded a braggadocio, a reputation that is nigh impossible to shake off.
What to do:
Your club bartender’s your best friend and ally in Clubland, right after your club manager and membership director. Be good to them.
Pay your bills on time: it’s important to be current.
Make new friends at the club table.
If you don’t already play a club sport, learn one. And remember, the Smaller the Ball, Better the Sport. And if your hand-eye coordination sucks, just having fun at billiards is always an option.
Attend as many club events as you can. Apart from playing a sport, this is the easiest way to be introduced to lifelong friends.
Keep your word: you’re only as good as the last promise you broke. Your social credit is more important than your credit score in Clubland.
The Last Word
I’ve been a member of a club from the day I was born, and I will be one when I die. I’ve lived across multiple countries and yet many of my most formative moments have been in clubs. These ranged from when I picked up my first squash racquet to learning about wine, cigars and other fine joys of life. Clubs will nurture your friendships, camaraderie and teach you the joy of leisure. It’s my hope that club life is as rewarding for every young graduate as it has been for me.