Club Fever Redux
We're serving everything that you want from Clubland. Except cheaper bills.
“Being without a club is truly worse than being homeless,” remarked Clarke, a thirty-something operations executive, while inside a club locker room somewhere in New England. It’s obvious that his recent ski trip to Utah (where the club has no reciprocals) has left him with a case of club fever.
What’s Club Fever? It’s a disease that afflicts those special club regulars—who shall affectionately be known as club rats by this publication—when they’re strayed too far from the inside of a private club. It need not be their own. Much like smallpox, modernity seems to believe that such a thing has been eradicated. While the symptoms are relatively harmless, they can be difficult to understand if you’ve never experienced them.
In our first issue, Benjamin Kahn writes about his (stuffy) introduction to Clubland. Ishaan Jajodia writes about a famous literary character, Phileas Fogg, who overcame his own club fever in Jules Verne’s Around the World in 80 Days before taking readers on a journey through the different types of clubs in “Tour de Clubland”. Yours truly shares how clubs are for connectors, not networkers. (And yes, there’s a difference!) And every good newsletter about private clubs needs some gossip so be sure to check the bottom of the email for Dispatches from Clubland, written by myself and Ishaan Jajodia. — LR
And as for Clarke, there’s no hope for him. Maybe he’ll be back to normal in a few weeks as long as they don’t change the menu.
This Clubland issue was brought to subscribers by Double Dot Squash.
Smoke Rings and Stiff Upper Lips
By: Benjamin Kahn
Only a few moments into my visit to the Cosmos Club, I became aware that I was out of place.
Allow me to paint a picture of the Cosmos Club, which was founded in 1878 as a gentleman’s club for those interested in the sciences: though the exterior of the building is somewhat unassuming by D.C. standards, Maria Theresa would find herself right at home at the Cosmos. Think marble pillars and palatial cornices. The interior is truly a sight to behold, complete with ceiling murals, ornamental plaster and parquet flooring.
Despite dressing the part—blue windowpane suit, a complementary pocket square and cognac-colored plain Oxfords—I was decidedly out of my comfort zone.
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Tour de Clubland
By: Ishaan Jajodia
Anyone who’s spent time in Clubland has heard names that sound awfully similar to each other being thrown around by members. But, what’s the difference between each of them?
New York Yacht Club sounds awfully similar to New York Athletic Club; New Haven Country Club sounds awfully similar to New Haven Lawn Club, even though only the latter has squash courts, if you were wondering. The dizzying array of acronyms can only truly be learnt by making your way through Clubland, but what we, here, at Clubland, can do is introduce you to the various types of clubs commonly found across the United States.
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Clubs Are for Connectors, Not Networkers
By: Leonard Robinson
Being a working professional today means finding clever ways to build meaningful relationships with colleagues, industry peers and the in-betweens of our working lives. We’ve developed countless tools for this, such as LinkedIn, professional affinity groups, and innumerable industry happy hours.
Your club shouldn’t be one of them. Members should instead prioritize connecting with their peers in the most non-transactional way possible without any expectation of gain or collaboration.
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Around the World in Eighty Days, Starting in Clubland
A Blast from the Past by Ishaan Jajodia
Reading Jules Verne’s Around the World in Eighty Days (1874) is an exhilarating front row seat to the exploration of protagonist Phileas Fogg and his valet, Passepartout encounter, complete with riding elephants in the jungles of India to a falling suspension bridge in the United States.
The novel, originally published in French, has been a classic in its genre with adaptations appearing in multiple forms, including literature, radio productions in the 1940s, and multiple films including the feature length film released in 2004 starring Jackie Chan and Steve Coogan.
What one might not immediately recognize is that Verne’s saga begins and ends in London Clubland.
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Dispatches from Clubland
Let’s start with a simple fact: SoHo House is not a real club. Real clubs don’t have shady practices that have sparked a new securities investigation, aim to become corporate “hospitality groups”, lack meaningful reciprocal relationships, and worst of all, have shares that can be purchased on a publicly-traded stock exchange. (Even brokers want you to stay away!)
Speaking of real clubs, the University Club of New York’s general manager, John Dorman, isn’t renewing his contract after 27 years of service. Kopplin Kuebler & Wallace, an executive search firm, is searching for Dorman’s successor, who will be handsomely compensated. We’re just hoping that Dorman’s successor reinstalls the “Whites Only” sign on the squash courts. Could you imagine someone not wearing white on the courts at the University Club? Ghastly.
More tragic, however, is the sad but too common occasion of a club closing its doors. The Montana Club, which was the oldest, continuously-operating club between Minneapolis and Seattle, poured its final drink last year. Based in Helena, Montana’s capital, the club occupied a historic building, boasted a rich history and managed to successfully explain its unique (and, unfortunately) controversial entryway.
For any members of the dearly departed Montana Club, please reach out if you’re visiting Manhattan, New Haven or Baltimore. We’d be honored to provide solace and comfort (and a round of drinks) within the confines of our clubs.
Not all is lost, however. Boston’s Harvard Club is partnering with a Boston-area developer to bring flexible member areas, new sports facilities –including squash courts –, and even childcare for the next generation of club rats. The cost? Temporarily parting ways with its parking lot and annex that housed its athletic facilities. The real kicker is that 133 apartments are being built for rent and purchase harkening back to the days when bachelors lived in their clubs’ rooms. Picture being able to stumble home after a long night of socializing, straight home, without ever stepping onto the street. What a delight that would be? — LR & IJ
Thank you for reading Clubland. Our next issue will be Tuesday, March 25 at 3pm.