Assessment Season
The Dispatch Issue: From Gorsuch to Gramercy Park with pit stops in Connecticut
Reading oral arguments at the Supreme Court in US v. Hemani, I’m struck with how precarious and particular the job of assessment is. Under consideration is a law that would prohibit “habitual” substance and alcohol users from procuring firearms in the Commonwealth of Virginia. But what does it really mean to assess a man as a “habitual drunkard”?
Justice Neil Gorsuch—like many of his colleagues on the court—thought that assessing who was a “habitual drunkard” was a tricky assessment to make. After all, don’t we have different capacities to consume? (A quick look around a late night soiree at a club in New York is sufficiently revealing).
First, Gorsuch trots out the American Temperance Society’s definition from “back in the day”, which “said that eight shots of whiskey a day only made you an occasional drunkard”.
And, then, comes the tour de grace:
“If you want to invoke the founding era, to be a habitual drunkard, you had to do double that, okay? John Adams took a tankard of hard cider with his breakfast every day. James Madison reportedly drank a pint of whiskey every day. Thomas Jefferson said he wasn’t much a user of alcohol, he only had three or four glasses of wine a night, okay?”
I would hardly assess most club cats at a club bar to hardly even be “occasional drunkards” in the definition trotted out by the American Temperance Society. But it’s a darned high bar, and I wouldn’t even want to begin trying it out for one.
Talking about assessments, though, there’s another kind in town—the one that drains your wallets, in service to your club.
‘Tis a good time to remember that the Founding Fathers separated from the Mad King George III only because they were assessed without representation. Go figure.
Easter Surprise: Word on Club Row is that clubs in Connecticut clubs have been assessing their members with some regularity.
While I’m fortunate to belong only to a club that doesn’t engage in assessments regularly, the grumpy, forlorn faces of members makes it both sad and peevish. Why wouldn’t you want to pay for the costs of helping maintain your clubhouse that you use and love?
On the other hand—clubs like Round Hill Club in Greenwich, CT, have been using assessments to build new facilities, with one trusted source revealing a five-figure assessment for expansion of facilities.
Assessments are expensive cash cows for clubs. Many country clubs with golf courses rely on semi-regular assessments to keep their grounds in order, which can be quite an expensive annual affair. Rebuilding bunkers on a golf course after a harsh, snowy winter can alone cost five-figures. Club buildings are aging—most of them are from the Gilded Age—and most of their maintenance is now coming due, causing even city clubs to feel the pinch of their capital budgets for improvements.
Club-Shooting Inspired by “Anti-Elitism”: The unfortunate shooting at Nashua, New Hampshire’s Sky Meadow Country Club last September, according to an affidavit made public by New Hampshire Public Radio, was inspired by more than a tinge of self-acknowledged anti-elitism. The affidavit reveals that the shooter, Hunter Nadeau, “decided to punish the wealthy … stating that he was tired of the “elites” taking all the money. He said that he settled on Sky Meadow as a location because he worked there about a year ago as a server and knew that you had to have money to have a membership there.”
Goading on Gramercy: At The Players, Max Weissenberg, author of the new page-turner The Gramercy Park Hotel: A New Icon, shared passages from the book along with a gripping detail of the various owners and guests who have graced the hotel, from Hunter S. Thompson to Cyndi Lauper. His uncle, Steven, was sure to provide ample corrections and family anecdotes after. One of the best parts of the presentation was hearing the family’s input and minor corrections to their proud son and nephew speaking about the family’s history that truly shaped Gramercy Park. Weissenberg joked with Clubland USA that the hotel’s new owners would allow for an unlimited supply of free drinks at the new hotel, which is set to reopen this fall. Our response: Unlimited supply of free drinks? You definitely wouldn’t find that at anywhere we consider a Gold Standard Club.